Customer Service Communication Skills #20 - When a Customer's Talk to You is Full of Blame Or Anger

This is a powerful proactive skill if you can be in this consciousness when answering back. As I was taught from the old country, answer a question with a question, YET we will fine tune this old saying.

Answer a question with empathy if you think the other person is in resentment, anger, or retaliation mode. The speaker will probably calm down quickly. It may take a few empathy guesses, yet empathy has been such an effective peacemaker in my communications. An empathy guess is guessing the person's emotions or needs. With an intense situation , guess the needs first. This may look like "Are you wanting ______________."

Real Situation:

Once I saw an irate man at a upscale hotel and he was "screaming" at the manager. I heard him say to her, "Are you stupid?"

Me: I went over to him and said, "Sir"

Him: "What do you want?" he said to me with quite a bit of intensity.

Me: I understand that you would like to be understood (the need) for how difficult this situation is for you? (So, I didn't tell him my impression of what I I was thinking.) I was seeing him as a human being and guessed what he was wanting..

Him: "yeah" calmly.

It took one empathy guess for him to transform from a stressed, high blood pressure human being to a calm, peaceful person. He just needed to be heard and understood .

After the conversation was completed peacefully, he asked me if I wanted to work for his company.

The Tip and Exercise:

When you hear a question with intensity from another or maybe laced with blaming, shame, or guilt, instead of answering directly, offer an empathy guess.

For example:

1: Why do you talk so much? Me: Are you wanting to be heard (need)?

2: How could you forget to pick up the cleaning? Me: I understand that you would enjoy more dependability?

3: Why don't you call me anymore? Me: Are you needing understanding why I don't call you.

Hint : For ease and learning this skill, try visualizing and practicing different situations before you try it for real. A needs/values list may be found at the website below.

Personal and business communication skills are never an easy subject, yet Rick Goodfriend wants communication with others to be easier, more satisfying. Additional Business and personal communication Skills are at http://walkyourtalk.org/ where you may sign up for weekly communication tips, teleclasses and workshops.

Successful communication with anybody is possible with the proactive skills taught. Rick Goodfriend is also a co-creator and host of a television show on proactive communication and resides in Santa Barbara, California continuing to surf, hike and practice personal communication skills.

Rick Goodfriend is also a certified corporate speaker and can provide keynotes, trainings and consultation for your business or organization.

Published At: Customer Service Communication Skills #20 - When a Customer's Talk to You is Full of Blame Or Anger

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